I wanted to talk a little bit about love languages and what they are. We are all beautifully and uniquely made. We express our love and admiration in different ways. An important fact to remember is no one love language is better than the rest. It's very important to realize what you and your spouse's love language is. It's important to know this because you may be feeling some kind of way because your spouse/mate is not touchy freely and you are. You may not understand why your spouse/mate don't compliment you as much as you'd like. Those are just a few examples, but there are many reasons why you may be getting mixed signals. Not knowing each other's love language will have you confused and upset for no reason. So often we get bent out of shape because we feel we are not loved like we want to be loved. Your spouse don't do this or that like you do there for you feel that they don't love you. Most of the time that is the farthest thing from the truth. They love you but they are loving you in the ways that they know how. Your spouse may show love by doing things for you, or working extra hours to take care of you while on the other hand you may show love by giving hugs and kisses, telling them how beautiful they are or by holding their hands. You have to realize that just because someone's love language is different from yours does not mean that they love you any less. I believe once you realize how someone loves you will be able to embrace it and accept it. Understanding how to love and be loved is a beautiful thing. Hopefully this information will help you understand how your spouse/mate loves.
I know my love language. I love to be touched. I love to be held. I love to just kiss on my husband. I love holding his hands. I Love to hug him, tell him how much I love him. I'm thoughtful of his feelings and desires. To me, sometimes a touch is far more powerful than words. Though I'm a very sensual person, my love language has absolutely nothing to do with sex. People tend to get that confused. Is it obvious yet that my love language is "Physical Touch"? :) I truly believe that there can be so much power in just a touch.
Though I already knew my love language is physical touch , I decided to indulge and take the love language test on the author Dr Gary Chapman website anyway just to confirm.:) Of course my results were that my love language is "Physical Touch". Below are the 5 Love Languages and their meaning. Which category do you fall into? What I want you to understand is that it's ok to love differently but you have to learn to accept the difference. It's ok if you love in different ways as long as you both are loving each other. If your love language is Physical Touch and your spouse's love language is Acts Of Service, learn to find the beauty in each of them. Talk to one another about how you feel. Just because your LL is Acts Of Service doesn't mean you shouldn't hug your spouse or spend quality time with them. Their has to be a middle ground. Learning what your LL is is the beginning of learning how to love and accept your spouse's love.
Below are the different LL's and a simple definition of what they are that I found on Dr Chapman's site. Awareness is a beautiful thing.
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.
Take a little time to think about what really makes you happy. Think about what are the ways that you show your spouse love. Think of the ways that you feel your spouse/mate shows you love. If there is any doubt, head over to the website and take the test. Use it as an instrument to bringing you a better understanding to how you and your spouse loves.
Take care until next time,